So... yeah - PETE -

[ashton cole johnson]

<sup>.......... ........ That is pretty much the entirety of what Ashton could think right now. He honestly had no idea how he got here, what he was thinking how it started or anything. Why had he done that, he didnt get why he got so... bold around peter. It wasnt even that he was bold. Ashton liked to act like nothing in the world affected him like whatever sex was sex and shit and he liked to put those pictures up just to see peoples reactions, but lately he hadnt been doing that. He had not really been in any mood. Peter had been the only one on lately and for some reason he had said a great deal to peter about things he normally wouldnt have said to anyone. He didnt know what it was, why he had done that. peter... god and then peter... why he felt the need to push peter to hear what he was going to say when Ashton just knew it wasnt going to be good at least for him. And of course it wasnt.

Ashton just... he didnt understand. Why the fuck would Peter want to be in a relationship with him? He was pretty sure the kid had to be a bit messed up in the head. Like... he just... didnt get it. Him of all people. Peter was nearly the exact opposite of him. He just... not that Ashton did relationships or anything, but if he were, Peter he was sure wouldnt even be a consideration. He just didnt see how this was going to work. Well he tried to forwarn peter. He tried to tell him this would probably not work out, but peter he was determined. Well whatever he would see. Ashton wasnt for anyone. He wasnt the type of person that was going to have a happily ever after and he didnt want one either. He didnt yearn for one. He didnt see a point nor did he really think they existed but its what everyone seemed to try and get. Heh... yeah that always went over real well. Oh well. Its why the divorce industry was thriving so well.

In any case this whole thing with Peter was just.... he didnt know. Maybe peter was bored and wanted to pass the time. This was definitely a waste of time. He would see that he should have passed his time some other way cause that kid was going to get hurt and you know whos going to get blamed? Ashton. He just knew he would. Its just how it worked. God he just didnt get it! Why the hell would he even think this was he just.. why did he want to be with him? He said he enjoyed talking to him enjoyed being around him. that... .... thats just.. Ashton couldnt grasp the fact that he could be completely sincere about that. Who would want to be around him? He was not one of those socially welcoming people. He didnt have charisma nor did he want it. He was happy on his own. It was just better that way.

Well because of this little... bet they had going on, thank god it was only for a month, now he had to... do things. Ice cream was okay, ice ceam was... well it was ice cream. But now he had to... hang out and do things with Peter specifically. Whatever.... okay. But ... this also brings to the fact that, Ashton still for some reason just liked to push things with peter. Peter... was.., god ... hand holding? seriously..... meh. Peter better not expect that from him. Then again... what was hand holding compared to what the hell was going to happen.

Peter wanted to touch him. Okay.. well.. okay. Just... he could do this. He was not a fucking wimp. It was just skin. Stupid stupid picture. OKay so... it kind of.. gave him a tiny thrill when Peter said he liked it and wanted it back up. And... when Peter said he wanted to touch him, ashtons skin kind of tingled a bit in anticipation. And peter thought his fingers were the only thing. Ashton had a kind of... weird thought come to his mind and he'd almost told Peter it, but thank god he hadnt. It was trouble thinking like that and really he had no idea why the thought had even entered his mind. Stuff like that... that was for lovey dovey people not two guys going into a limited relationship just to prove a point. No no no.

Ashton shivered again as he thought about what might possibly happen. Hed closed his lap top and grabbed his cabby hat. Okay so... he didnt need the hat being inside, but.. it was like... part of his shield. He probably wouldnt have it on for long, He was sure Peter would want it off, but he could try and hold out a little while. He licked his lips his hands were shaking a little. He frowned. no... that was a sign of weakness. God he hadnt even told peter he could touch him, he said maybe. He didnt have to go through with this. But if he didnt then he would just be a wuss. He wasnt like that. He would go through with this. He would prove to Peter he wasnt afraid of whatever he said. But peter had to keep it to just that. He didnt want peter to try and get further.

Ashtons skin was tingling again as he thought about it... again. He didnt get why he was feeling this way. This.. shouldnt be happening. Peter wasnt suppose to do this to him. He wasnt suppose to challenge Ashton like that. There was a lot of things Peter shouldnt have done, but he did and now here he was. For some reason Kholden and Peter popped into his head. Them at the zoo. He frowned. Hed read their conversation. He didnt know why but he just... wasnt too happy about it. If Peter wanted to go hang around with Kholden then why couldnt he fucking be dating Kholden and not him. Why was he making Ashton do this shit when he could be putting himself on Kholden. Clearly they enjoyed each others company and they could go to the zoo all the fucking time all they wanted and get some fucking ice cream.... no no no. Fuck! Ashton shook his head. God what the hell was his problem.

Ashton rubbed his face trying to get his stupid crazy thoughts in order. Peter... peter .. pete..... why the hell was he doing that? ... Since when did he use peters name to calm himself down? He frowned. That wasnt calming that was... that was... no. He scowled and closed his eyes counted to ten and then, after making sure everything was unplugged and nothing out of place he stepped out of his room. He pulled a folded up piece of paper from his pocket and then as he closed the door he made sure it stuck in the door. He then locked his door. He always did this, just to make sure that if anyone decided to break into his room he would know. He then made his way over to Peters room, which really wasnt that far. He stayed next door... conveniently enough. Licking his lips he put used his sleeve to cover his hand as he grabbed the door handle then walked in. Well Peter had said the door was open so really it was his fault.

He pulled his hand off pulling his sleeve back to its place and shut the door turning towards pete. 'hm...' he gave a slight nod of his head. He stood about five feet into the room as he placed his hands on his hips and quirked his brow like well okay. Im here. so.. what?</sup>

[peter bergan walker]

<sup>Peter had to read the conversation over about three times before it hit him really that he had invited Ashton over. It wasn't like Peter to actually want to touch someone like that, but he could still see that picture and he just... he knew that was what he wanted. Actually, Peter wanted more than just to touch Ashton there, but be knew that was probably all he'd be able to get away with. He closed his lap top as he closed his eyes. God... his imagination was going crazy. Peter could just imagine how Ashton's skin would feel beneath his fingers. He could almost feel it already. Gulping slightly, Peter thought about how it would feel to flatten his palms over Ashton's abdomen and slide them around his skinny waist to that part of his back that Peter could only dare to think of. Then his thoughts turned on him. Peter opened his eyes, licking his lips as he thought about how it would feel to trail kisses over Ashton's abdomen. His hand balled into a fist as he stood and shook his head. That wasn't appropriate. Ashton would never let him do that.

Besides... their arrangement was only for a month. Peter didn't want to think about getting so physical when it was only going to be for a month. He knew that Ashton was looking to prove a point and Peter was trying to be prepared. Ashton would obviously be trying to prove a relationship between them wouldn't work while Peter was trying to prove that one would. The thing was... Ashton had been challenged by the wrong boy. Peter wasn't likely to give up on someone easily and Ashton would just have to deal with that. When the month was up, well, they'd see who the winner was. At the same time though... Peter wanted the month to go by as slow as it possibly could. He wanted to make the most of what little time he had with Ashton before he would be forced to deal with a break up. The thought of breaking up made Peter frown. Sure they had only been together for a few days so far, but Peter really liked Ashton. He didn't want to be thinking about that until he absolutely had to. It was too early to be thinking about it.

Peter moved toward his closet, wondering if the sweatpants and blue t-shirt he had on would be okay with Ashton coming in on. He looked over his clothes, but he didn't see anything that really caught his eye. There was nothing wrong with sweatpants. They were comfortable and at the moment Peter needed all the comfort that he could get. Peter bit his lip, closing his closet door and moving toward the bathroom. Bogart was at his heels, anxiously running around and through his legs. He took the time to brush his teeth, figuring Ashton wouldn't appreciate bad breath. Not that they would be kissing or anything. Ashton had already made it pretty clear that there would be no kissing whatsoever. He wished that Ashton did kiss because sometimes, when it was just the two of them eating ice cream or walking the dogs... Peter often wanted to just... lean over and kiss him. But Peter didn't want to disrespect Ashton's no kissing policy. Peter wasn't that kind of person and he wanted Ashton to know that this wasn't just a friendship. He cared about Ashton whether Ashton liked that or not.

All that was left was the wait on Ashton. Peter didn't think Ashton would be too long just because their rooms were right next to each other. Even with that in mind Peter wanted to give Ashton a little more time than that. He didn't want to get anxious. Peter sat in the floor, taking Eleanor in his hands. Bogart decided that nothing exciting was happening, do he lay down on his little makeshift bed in the corner. Peter strummed along to a new tune he was working on. Peter wasn't too sure about it. In fact, Peter just didn't know that it completely worked. It sounded like there was at least one chord in it that was throwing the whole line off. When the door began to open Peter smiled and put Eleanor to the side. He could think about matching chords later. Ashton was there and Peter just wanted to focus on Ashton. Finally standing Peter glanced over to Bogart who seemed to be sleeping soundly at this point. He looked up to Ashton, his brown eyes reflecting perfectly how excited and glad he was that Ashton was there.

Peter couldn't help how revealing his eyes tended to be. He slowly walked toward Ashton. The look on Ashton's face was kind of funny. Peter could tell that Ashton wasn't going to be making any first moves. Something Peter had noticed was that any time Ashton even came close to making a move... he would stop and let Peter do the rest. Pete wouldn't complain about that, but it was something that he had noticed. "Hey," Peter said as he was finally close to Ashton. He didn't know what else to start off with. "I'm glad you came." Peter wasn't even touching Ashton yet, but he could almost feel Ashton's body heat. He figured the growing nervous feeling in his stomach was simply because he was so close to Ashton. His stomach always did nervous things when it came to Ashton. It was kind of weird and Peter had never expected it, but it happened. Peter was starting to learn not to question that kind of stuff. He liked to think that if he felt something, then that was something that he was supposed to be feeling... right?

Slowly reaching out, Peter ran his fingertips along Ashton's shirt. He wasn't brave enough yet to try them under. Peter bit his lower lip, finally letting his hands rest at Ashton's hips. What was he supposed to do? Peter was so new to all of the touching stuff and he knew that Ashton had a lot more experience with that. Peter tried to think back to stuff he had done with Alex. It was hard because Alex never put him in this position. Alex had simply just gone along with all of the romantic stuff Peter liked to do most of the time. Besides... Ashton was so much different that Alex. There were ways that they were similar, but there were too many differences for him to compare the two. "I hope you can bear with me..." Peter said with a small smile. "I'm... sort of new to this touching stuff."</sup>

[ashton cole johnson]

<sup>Ashton wasnt sure what he was expecting. Maybe he was thinking that Peter would be all talk that once it got down to it he wouldnt do it. He was almost counting on it. But as he stood there, and Peter moved closer to him. Ashtons eyes didnt leave him, following his progress and they stayed on him even after he stopped. He gave a small snort. He could see how glad and excited he was. His eyes sucked at hiding things. He didnt know how Peter could stand that, maybe he didnt know but he couldnt imagine no one mentioning it all this time. Ashton himself would have done all he could to control what his eyes revealed, well.. then again he ... kind of had really. No he definitely couldnt see how Peter could be like that willingly.

He and Peter hadnt really ever done anything yet since this all started. It had only been a couple days really and well aside from ice cream hang outs and dog hang outs... well thats about it. Its probably why tonight there was already an expected anxiousness, anticipation, and nervousness in the air. Maybe a bit of fear. Ashton licked his lips when peter ran his fingers along his shirt. That was... nothing. Then.. something did happen. Peters hands were on his waist. Ashton tense just barely, his fingers that had been on his hips, dug into his skin just a bit. It was peter. It was just peter. He managed to turn his attention to what Peter was saying now instead of his hands on his side.

Peters words made him want to laugh for some reason but he did nothing. He looked down at Peter and then using one hand he took a hold of one of Peters hands. "let me...' he said. 'Just relax your hand..' he advised as he brought it up, his own long thing hand wrapped around it, guiding Peters hand to the buttons on Ashtons shirt. He used his fingers to help maneuver Peters fingers to help unbutton the buttons of his shirt. He wasnt about to let peter know he wasnt the only unsure one here. That he wasnt the only one that this was a 'first' to. He could play a pretty decent role if he wanted to, and thats what he was doing now. He had to, or else how was he going to get through this. It might sounds bad, but he wasnt expecting it to be.

Ashton could feel their fingers brush his skin a bit as they continued down. When the last one was undone Ashton let go of Peters hand and brought his hands up the edges of the two sides of his opened shirt up to his collar before shrugging it back off his shoulders and then letting it fall to the floor. He reached out and then placed his own hands on Peters hips advancing forwards putting a little pressure where his hands rested to urge Peter backwards. He stopped them before they hit the bed and then let go of peter moving so now he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Ashton glanced over at Peter before scooting himself back and then laying backwards, one arm pillowed behind his head, the other resting at the top of his pant waist. He took in a deep breath letting it out through his nose. He thought he did quite a bit just now, he really... wanted peter to do this now. He would do more... if he needed to... maybe.</sup>

[peter bergan walker]

<sup>Peter himself had honestly expected to chicken out as soon as he even so much as touched Ashton, but what Peter found was that once he could feel Ashton's body heat through the fabric of his shirt... well... he couldn't stop touching. It felt so natural after a few seconds. There was a little bit of a shock at first just because Peter hadn't expected it, but as that faded he felt more comfortable with what he was feeling. This had to be the right thing. It just had to be. Peter was sure that Ashton might also attempt to push him away, but Peter hoped he wouldn't. After Peter's hands settled on Ashton's waist he felt a little better about it. Ashton wasn't pushing him away or telling him that he was doing it wrong.

Something about Ashton made him feel better about the situation. They really hadn't done much of the physical stuff. Ashton had been really good about just hanging and getting ice cream and walking the dogs together. That stuff was nice, but Peter kind of wanted to explore every field of the relationship they were in. Peter knew he wouldn't have much time before he would be forced to end the relationship. He didn't want to... being able to focus on Ashton enabled him to stop thinking about the nightmares so much. Peter didn't want to think about the nightmares and Ashton made him feel like it was possible to be happy again. That was exactly what Peter needed out of this.

When Ashton began to move his hand, Peter felt his stomach tighten. Peter could feel his fingertips brush against Ashton's bare chest as each button on Ashton's shirt was undone. He was so glad that Ashton seemed to know what he was doing... or know what he wanted really. Peter felt so clueless. He should have thought to unbutton Ashton's shirt on his own... not that he was complaining about Ashton helping him along... that felt nice too. Peter then felt Ashton's hands on his waist, pushing him back toward the bed. He watched Ashton move back on the bed and Peter raised an eyebrow. Now that Ashton had his shirt off... Peter could... not resist the urges he had before. They were stronger now.

Peter slowly crawled onto the bed next to Ashton. He still wasn't sure about what to do, but Peter ran his hand over Ashton's chest. Peter could feel the ridges beneath his fingertips. He felt like he was trailing fire behind his fingertips or something. Taking a moment to gather his thoughts, Peter realized that being next to Ashton was a weird angle and he really wanted to get both hands on Ashton. He slowly moved so that he was straddling Ashton. Peter ran both hands up Ashton's chest, over his nipples, and back down his sides. He loved just touching Ashton. It was one of the best feelings he had in a while. Peter bit his lower lip again as he removed his hands from Ashton's body so that he could take off his own shirt.

After slipping the t-shirt over his head, Peter placed his hand over Ashton's hand that was resting at Ashton's pants band. Peter gently gripped Ashton's hand, starting it at the base of Peter's jeans and slowly running it up his chest. He was really just going off instinct. Peter still wasn't sure about what to do really.</sup>

[ashton cole johnson]

<sup>Ashton looked up at him. He watched his every move as he moved to lay next to him and then his hand was moving over his chest. Peters hand was warm and Ashtons skin jumped a bit from the contact. He glanced down to watch the movement of Peters hand, but it didnt last long. Peter stopped and Ashton gave him a quick look. Maybe he was second guessing this. Maybe he didnt like how skinny he was. Ashton could be pretty self conscious about his body. He personally never thought super skinny people were attractive, but they usually had a choice. They were that way because they had eating disorders. He just couldnt gain weight. Hes binged before and it did nothing. He gained two pounds and lost them by the end of the day practically.

Ashton was about to say something, to just cut this off and spare Peter any kind of having to explain and make up excuses why he couldnt do this, when Peter moved. The move was a surprise because now Peter was straddling him. His hands were on him again, but this time it was both of them. Ashton sucked in a breath looking up at Peter, slight confusion in his eyes before he looked back down blocking what he was thinking. Why hadnt peter stopped and got up and said this was a mistake? Why was he still here, touching him? Whatever he was not about to voice those thoughts. He wasnt going to sound like some low self esteemed girl. He could question Peter why he liked being around him because that was logical. Pete seriously had issues if he thought Ashton was good company or... fun to talk to or ...w hatever he thought. But it was not good to start going on about why Peter wanted to touch his scrawny ass.

Peters touch was... well it was slightly hesitant, but not at the same time. His hands moved over his nipples and his breath hitched just a bit. That.. kind of felt nice, but it didnt last long since he was pulling his hands away to take his shirt off now. Ashton looked up at him, watching as his own skin was revealed as he pulled his shirt up over his head. yes... peter... was ... something else. His skin was pale and his chest looked amazing. Ashton blinked a bit. God this kid was shirtless... and he was Shirtless and he looked like that while he looked like this. What the hell was wrong with peter?

He was brought back as his hand was taken and peter was guiding it up from his waist up his chest. His skin was soft and warm. Licking his lips he flattened his palm more to get an even more solid feel. He moved so he could use both hands. Why was he doing this? His skin was so nice. He stopped, trailing his finger over the burned cross that was on his upper chest. He quirked a brow and looked up at peter. "What is this?" he asked his voice conveying that he shouldnt bullshit him, he wanted an answer.</sup>

[peter bergan walker]

<sup>Peter was so unsure of what he was doing. It was okay to touch Ashton, right? Ashton was his boyfriend... so the kind of touching they were doing... it was okay. That was something that Peter had to keep telling himself. He didn't want to think that he was doing something wrong... something that would make him miserable for the rest of his life. That would be... just god awful if he were actually doing something wrong. Ashton didn't seem to mind being touched, though, and Peter didn't mind Ashton touching him... so Peter hoped that was enough to keep him out of trouble. Pete could imagine that if he were at home, then his father would be having fits if he knew about Ashton. He never wanted to go back home. For once he felt like his father wasn't watching his every move. He felt like he had some freedom to be himself... to be happy and gay and just... yeah. This was going to be nice. Peter at least figured this was something that he needed.

As Ashton ran his fingers over the impression of the cross. Peter had hoped that Ashton wouldn’t think about that. He looked down, resting his hands on Ashton’s stomach. Peter drew in a deep breath, “It’s… um…”b Peter sighed. “I was reckless… asked Carson to do it.” Peter licked his lips, remembering that night as if it were yesterday. That wasn’t what really happened, but it was the lie that Peter had been trained to tell. Peter remembered little details like the fact that his father had punched him twenty-seven times, kicked him fourteen times, pulled his hair twice, broke two glasses over his head, and burned the cross into his shoulder. The cross necklace had belonged to Carson, but their father had took Carson down to take the necklace and a lighter. Nothing had ever hurt more than when the burning gold had been pressed into his skin. That would be a feeling Peter could never forget. He could almost feel the burn again with Ashton’s fingertips moving over it.

“I’m sorry…” Peter said, lowering his head. “That’s not true. I just… have never been allowed to say what really happened.” He was nervous about talking about it, but he knew that Ashton already knew a lot about him. What was the harm in telling a little more? “My dad did it when he found out I was gay. “ Peter hoped that he wouldn’t have to go into more of an explanation. He didn’t really know if he would be able to reply with much more detail. Peter let a small smile cover his lips again as he moved his hands back up over Ashton’s chest. He closed his eyes, taking in the feeling of Ashton touching him. He wanted to try something, but he wasn’t sure about what Ashton would do. Peter wasn’t sure that he should ask Ashton. If he asked, then he ran the risk of Ashton saying no… then he would never get to feel it. Ashton had said once that he didn’t kiss, but Peter just… he wanted to try it once no matter what Ashton said.

Peter positioned himself so that he could lean down. He brushed his fingertips through Ashton’s hair, resting his hand at the back of Ashton’s neck. His other arm propped him up over Ashton so that it would be a little easier to get to him. Peter could feel his skin burning because his bare chest was pressed against Ashton’s. That was something that Peter had never really felt before either. Again the feeling that Ashton would just… immediately repel him was in the back of his mind. Peter didn’t want rejection and he was definitely worried that Ashton wouldn’t think he was a good kisser. Still, Peter leaned down and pressed his lips to Ashton’s. It was a quick kiss. Really the kiss could be more considered a friend kiss than anything. Pete didn’t linger long and he raised back up after so that his chest was no longer placed against Ashton’s.</sup>

[ashton cole johnson]

<sup>Ashton looked up at him as he started to answer him. His eyes narrowed skeptically. For as much as he knew peter in the short time that he did, he didnt think that was something Peter would do. His lips thinned a bit. He was debating calling him out on it or now, but he decided not to. Ashton wasnt the most open guy. Granted that was different with peter, but even some things he kept to himself. Ashton normally would have pressed it though. He was the type that, when lied to, he pushed it. He hated being lied to, but... this time he didnt push it. he just let it go.

It was good though, because peter surprised him. He actually admitted to lying and then went on to tell him that his dad did it when he found out Peter was gay. Ashtons lips thinned again. He traced it with his finger again. He hated the sign of the cross. He hated what it was supposed to mean. He knew what it was like. Ashton leaned up and pressed his lips lightly against the scar. He didnt know why he did it, but he did. He acted before he thought. When he pulled back he snorted a bit and then held his hands up, palms facing Peter. There was a slash across each palm. "I have two more, on on each foot... and.. he moved to show him the slits on his rib cage. Does it remind you of anything?' he asked looking up at him. His honey colored eyes showed nothing. His voice had gotten cold, empty.

The day his parents found out he was gay they threw him in a tub of hot water, made holy by the cross they through into it and then sliced him everywhere that marked how jesus had been nailed and stabbed to bleed on the cross. they would have done more, but Ashton had blacked out shortly after.

Ashton sighed a bit as Peter continued touching him. He watched the small smile that touched Peters lips and then peters eyes were closed. Ashton admired him while he could. Took in his smooth features, plush lips, long lashes, pale skin. Peter was definitely attractive.. beautiful, words Ashton didnt normally hear himself say or think, but here he was with this boy and he still couldnt figure it out. Didnt Peter see the mistake he was making.

Ashton mentally shook his head, his own hands moving down towards Peters waist. He moved it towards his back, his long fingers feeling the soft skin of his lower back, the dip that was there. His attention was brought back again, though, as Peter cupped the back of his neck, the other moving to above him. Ashton looked up at him. What was going on in peters head? He didnt know... part of him wanted to while the other part thought it might be best not to. He did think that it did feel really nice, their chests pressed together like they were, but he wouldnt say that aloud. Things that he liked... maybe even wanted... didnt exist. He wasnt allowed. Maybe thats why this was so bad.

Then as if in slow motion Peters lips were on his. Ashton stilled, his fingers flexing on Peters skin a bit. What was he doing? He had told him no kissing. He told him. Peter didnt seem to linger long though, the kiss was actually quite fast, but he'd still kissed him. Ashtons eyes were hard on Peter. He ignored the tingling in his lips, or the fact that he might.. just might actually want to do it again, to feel Peters lips upon his again. They had been soft... full. His lips felt like he had an electrical shock pulsing through them. No, that had been ... something entirely different. Hed never felt that before, not even when he'd kissed Andy. Peter would be the second boy to ever have kissed him and he shouldnt have.

"Why did you do that?' he asked his voice low, even. "Why did you do that.. when I told you not to?'</sup>

[peter bergan walker]

<sup>Peter couldn't lie to Ashton the way he had and just have Ashton think of him as a liar. Even if the relationship wasn't really real to Ashton... it was real to Peter. To Peter Ashton was his real boyfriend and he felt real things when he was around Ashton... and all those smaller moments they shared were real. He didn't like thinking that Ashton didn't consider them real, but he knew that it was a very real possibility when it came to Ashton. Peter never knew what to expect of Ashton. It was like he had to just kind of throw a dart and see where it landed. He knew that the lie... was supposed to be what he told people... and anyone else probably would have gotten the lie, but Ashton... Peter couldn't do that to his very real boyfriend. That was why Peter had to tell Ashton what really happened... even if it kind of hurt to think about it a little bit.

One thing Peter hadn't been expecting was for Ashton to lean up and press his lips to the scar. It felt good. Peter drew in a deep breath as Ashton's lips were against his skin and he exhaled it as Ashton pulled away. He felt like his skin was burning right where Ashton had kissed. That was a new feeling for Peter altogether. He didn't want to say anything though because he didn't want Ashton to take it back. Pete couldn't help but frown slightly when Ashton mentioned his own scars... showing him his hands and the spot on his rib cage. Peter knew exactly what that reminded him of. He gently ran his hand over the slit on Ashton's ribs. Knowing that Ashton's parents had probably done that to him just made Peter angry. He didn't think anyone should have to deal with that kind of stuff. It was ridiculous really.

Next thing Peter knew he had his lips on Ashton's. Peter didn't make it a long, passionate kiss even if he wanted to. He knew that Ashton had already told him that he didn't kiss. It was really pushing the envelope that he was kissing Ashton. As he pulled away Peter expected Ashton to just... let loose on him. Peter was fully prepared for Ashton to rant and rave and possibly leave. But instead Ashton just looked at him and spoke in a tone that made him kind of scared. Peter frowned slightly. He didn't know how to answer Ashton or if he was actually supposed to. He sighed, resting his hands at Ashton's waist. "Look, I know you told me not to... but I..." Peter paused, drawing in a deep breath. "Have you ever... felt like... electricity was running through you... controlling just... how you react... to everything?"

Peter absent mindedly traced designs on Ashton's chest as he tried to think of a different way to put it. "I don't know... I'm sorry... that probably sounds stupid... I just... can't explain it right." Peter firmed his lips together. He drew in a deep breath leaning back down. This time he didn't kiss Ashton. Their chests were pressed back together, but this time Peter just rested his forehead on Ashton's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'll try not to do it again. Just... don't go."</sup>